Have You Ever?
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| Photo courtesy of Webexpedition18 |
"Have you ever loved and lost somebody? Wish there was a chance to say I'm sorry. Can't you see? That's the way I feel about you and me baby. "
Can anyone relate to the song Have You Ever by S Club 7? A song driven by so much emotions from a broken relationship. Although it is a personal favorite, I must admit that it embodies a long list of regret that the writer anguish for. And if I were to ask every person in this world if this is the right attitude after a break-up, I guess more than 50% will agree. But is it the right approach? I beg to disagree.
What makes moving on difficult?"Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over. Knowing there's so much more to say."
It is because of the memories.
The memories you shared all throughout the relationship.
Memories of you two eating together, attending the mass, shopping galore in malls, and watching movies.
The moments you busy exchanging words of affirmation whole day, stories you've got to share at the end of the day, and the endless talk about the future ahead of you (like the theme of the wedding, the number of children you want to have, the dream house, and the likes) that keeps on coming at the back of your mind.
The list of all the FIRST things. First encounter, first date, first monthsary, first valentines, first kiss, first letter, first gift, first travel and first meeting the parents. You keep thinking of all the good things and experiences but tend to ignore the negative ones and the whole truth.
Most probably you still keep on reading the old letters. Perhaps, you never sign out the social media when you never got a chance to view his profile. Or you still have the tendency of texting, reaching him out first when you are totally unease of your desolation.
"Can't help but think that this is wrong, we should be together. Back in your arms where I belong."
For most people, especially to women, we tend to stick on reminiscing the past. The truth is, it is the memories that we are afraid to let go and not actually the person.
Letting go starts within you.
For the mean time, refrain from reaching out. I guess, this is understood for both parties. You can still be friends after the process but not for now.
Why not block his updates in all networking sites till the hurt subsides? I assure you that this will be of great help. Anyway, you are not being bitter, we just want to at least minimize the pain in the coming days.
Divert your attention into something else. Focus on your studies or in your work (even it gives you a lot of stress), spend time with your family, hang out with your friends and have time for your self.
Lastly, put your feelings into writing. In this way, you are letting emotions flow into a proper way and in a proper medium. Afterwards, find time to read your work and it will give a bigger picture of the whole scenario that will help you think rationally.
"Oh and though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow. Wishing I could change the way the world goes round, tell me"
Whatever you're going through right now, remember not to commit the same mistakes again. Never ever regret the things you've gone through. You can always ask for help to any person you trust but always remember that the help you truly need comes from yourself. Do not deprive yourself of the aid when its like everything is falling including you. Indeed, truth really hurts and what a woman need is the time and courage to accept that fact.
Let go of the memories.
Step forward.
and most importantly,
MOVE ON.
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